Live Your Eulogy

My friend Eric recently wrote about his quest to get the right fit in his life. It seems to me that he is trying to sort out the things that are most important to him and then set about doing them, and in theory, getting someone to pay him for it. Darryl at Loving the Bike just wrote about the same thing, his two loves and setting him self up to work in a way that gives him as much time as possible to do the things he loves.

To many who view my life from the outside it would seem like I have things sorted. I spend every Saturday with my daughter, have time to pick her up from daycare and play with her every day. I can even take the odd weekday off to hang with her and my wife. I take Friday’s for personal work and then go for a ride with my afternoon. But it stills feels like I’m falling short, at least from this side.

Much like Eric, programming is a job. Sure I get to work on some cool stuff and I certainly don’t hate it, but I also often feel that I’m not working on the projects that really interest me. I don’t have bad clients or anything, just not the work I’m really passionate about. Secondly, I despite the time I get to take off I feel like I spend too much time worrying about work. Lot’s of my weekday time off with the family has a bit of stress for me as I think of the work things I could be doing, or let my mind wander to the balance of my bank account (whose perfect balance is n+1).

I’ve always thought that you should live your life as if your funeral is coming up and what do you want someone to say about you? I don’t care if they say I was a good programmer, or that I was a great business man. I want people to say that I was a good husband and father, that’s it. Paying myself with riding certainly helps me recharge and thus helps me accomplish the items above, but if it got in the way I’d give it up to be a good dad.

Are you living your life as if someone is writing your eulogoy now? If not you’re wasting time.

Living Life Outside of What is Considered Normal

While I typically think profanity shows a lack of vocabulary this is a nice article about forgetting what society thinks you should be doing and just doing what works for you.

What if you dropped out of school and walked across the country? What if you decided grades were sort of silly, and instead read all the interesting things you could find?

I used to be really nomadic. Couch surfing for 6 months on $1000 was no problem. Heading off in to Algonquin Park for weeks with little plan outside of enjoying creation, totally normal. My wife (then girlfriend) remembers having lunch with me then stopping by my cabin (yes I was living in a cabin with no power) around dinner to find me gone. It was 3 weeks till she heard from me.

Even now I feel that we live a life contrary to what ‘normal’ society thinks is proper. We have one car, I rarely drive. We watch little television, never been a party house. We want to be comfortable but the wife and I try to work just enough so that the bills are paid and the rest of the time we spend doing what we love (this means pretty short work weeks compared to the norm). There is no rush to get ahead, the life I’m living now is what is important.

Part of me really misses just getting out and not having any real commitments but a bigger part of me loves to hear my daughter laugh. Some days I may wish that I could still take off, but then the kid’s laugh reminds me that I made the right decision.